Sometimes You Just Need A Good Laugh

Whatever you are doing at this very moment can be made better by a bit of laughter. Okay, probably not heart surgery, but you get the idea. So without further delay, it is time to laugh to these quotes, thoughts and ramblings.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. - Matt Lauer

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell. - Garry Shandling

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. - Cora Harvey Armstrong

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? - Homer J. Simpson

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. - Homer J. Simpson

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation. - Rush Limbaugh

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones. - Mike Barfield

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. - Demetri Martin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. - Anonymous

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Aazdak Alisimo likes a good laugh just like anyone else, particularly funny quotes updated each and every day at FunnyQuotesDaily.com.

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